Notes to a beautiful Woman...
(For Joyce)
Part...One
the soft light of the
flickering flame...
casts a long shadow
across pasts...
ghosts and spirits
of things... of people
that refuse to leave
so that I may find peace.
I want to be vulnerable...share
my dreams...my secrets
let you in past the walls and
lead you away from the false
paths to the true me...
yet I continue to dream the dark
dreams...of before.
How can I ask you to love me
when all that is good about you
brings back the bad and
bitter memories...
reopens the doors of my self-doubt
my insecurity...
and leaves me...alone
and afraid.
You make me touch my fear...
question my ability to love...
You expose my hope for
what it really is...
fragile...unable to withstand
the merest touch.
How do I learn to gather my
strength from love and light...
when pain is
always...ready...willing
How do I embrace something
I'm not sure I deserve...thinking
that if I hope for good...
nothing will come
of it...
knowing that I will continue to
be shrouded in darkness
where I can hide from the
pain of living
because here is what I know...
out there is nothing...
here... where I've collected all
the pain I need.
2004 (C) jgray44
(all rights reserved)
Heartbeats...Whispers and Love
